Michele is a Money Mindset Coach who assists her clients in identifying their originating money story which shapes their values and beliefs around their relationship with money. She uses a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) technique called Time-Line Therapy as a resource to clear limiting beliefs and blocks that may be preventing a healthy relationship with money.
Michele’s approach is collaborative as she helps her clients explore their relationship with money in a gentle and reflective way that allows them to become honest about their story enabling them to heal through gratitude.
Isadora Samadello 0:00
Welcome to book of experts TV. I'm your host Isadora Samadello and today we're going to be talking about money mindset with Michele coy. Hi, Michele.
Michele Coy 0:10
Hello isidora Thanks for the invite.
Isadora Samadello 0:12
Thank you for being here. So Michele is a money mindset coach who assist her clients in identifying their originating money story which shapes all values and beliefs I know that I have lived in around the relationship with money, she uses a neuro linguistic programming technique, which we're going to go into and talk about called the timeline therapy as a resource to clear limiting beliefs and blocks that may be preventing a healthy relationship with money. I think that is fantastic. So Michele, tell me a little bit how you got here, like why money mindset?
Michele Coy 0:49
So Isadora, I have been in small business bookkeeping, for 29 years. So working with a female entrepreneur, I noticed that some women tended to net value themselves. And I also had experience working for a tribal government, where I saw the whole gamut of money, you know, from, from them, abusing it, to investing it. And I was curious, because they came from a traumatic background, what was causing the differences in how they related and that relationship they had with money, which brought me to exploring more about my own personal money mindset, right, and recognizing within myself certain patterns that I was experienced throughout my life, and recognizing how I can go through and change those, so they're more empowering and healthier patterns, so that I can achieve the wealth that I want to achieve.
Isadora Samadello 2:01
Wow. Okay. And tell me a little more about those patterns. Like What Did you notice? Both in like other people, and then in your life, too? That was like, Okay, yeah, this is triggering. Yes.
Michele Coy 2:15
So my own pattern was I was scared, and had a huge fear around success. Mm hmm. And I began to notice that anytime I became successful, whether it was achievement as small as getting a driver's license, to as big as graduating from college, I would receive unwanted responsibility from my family. They wanted to take advantage of those, like my father, who has since passed away, he would put on me, you do bookkeeping, I want you to do it for free. Um, I would invest, you know, 30 to 60 hours in helping him. And he was expected that I would do it for nothing. He didn't value my time. And when I wasn't valuing my time, others around me, began to take advantage and abuse that time and that value that I brought to the table,
Isadora Samadello 3:18
right? If you don't, if you don't value yourself, nobody else will, your time.
Michele Coy 3:25
And then I tried it this starting my own business several years ago, however, I realize that these patterns also created me not valuing myself. So I charge little to nothing. Because I wasn't valuing myself, because I was reflecting that and accepting clients that wouldn't value me either. I did a lot for little. So that was one of my biggest patterns. Yeah. And I recognized
Isadora Samadello 3:58
Yeah, and it's funny that you mentioned being afraid of success. I can relate to that. Like, there have been times when I've had an opportunity in front of me to make the quote unquote, easy money of like something like, Okay, this is a step by step, you complete this, and you're paid or you make something. And I remember the feeling of like, Ah, no, and I would find excuses around why I shouldn't do it. And looking back now I'm like, Oh, crap, like that was literally because I was afraid of things going right. Because growing up, we never had this super stability, financially speaking, and I think that my mind just went okay, so that doesn't exist, or it's really hard to get. So that's crazy. And it seems like it's not related, like family story with whatever but it's all connected right?
Michele Coy 4:49
It is that unhealthy pattern that your subconscious mind has recognized and it keeps you there to keep you safe. And I have Learn that through my trainings as an NLP or neuro linguistic programming practitioner. And I can see through using those techniques how the subconscious or your unconscious mind is keeping people safe from moving forward. And it could be as simple as you've put a ceiling or a limitation on what opportunities you are willing to take in. If this is not in the pattern, or not in the path that I have specified, I'm not going to take on those opportunities. Instead of looking through it, the lens of I'm on this path, and it's not straight, you know, opportunities I never dreamed of may come in my, into my path, and do I accept them? Mm hmm. Right. Like you said, it became you turn certain situations down because of that fear of success.
Isadora Samadello 6:06
Michele Coy 6:07
And so it's looking at businesses as well. Are they willing to take in opportunities that they're unsure of the success rate of it? Right, or are they just willing to pass it by? Because there's fear there?
Isadora Samadello 6:26
You have been in the comfort zone will cost you much more? Hmm. Yes, for sure. So, okay, cool. Tell me more about the neuro linguistic programming technique. What is that?
Michele Coy 6:37
So the neuro linguistic programming technique is called timeline therapy. And what timeline therapy does is it helps release some negative emotions that are trapped within you. And it goes through and maps it out from the unconscious mind and releases it. However, someone needs to be ready to release. So like, it goes through the five negative emotions, we have anger, hurt, sadness, fear, guilt. And if someone is unwilling to release one of those, it will manifest as one of the others.
Isadora Samadello 7:19
Oh, wow. Okay.
Michele Coy 7:22
So, you know, think of a situation where you may feel sad sadness, such as somebody ran into you. I'm sad because I got hurt. Well, if we release that sadness, or if you're unwilling to release that sadness, the next time that person runs into you, it may manifest as you become really angry at that person, and you don't know why you're angry. Interesting. And it's been. It's been incredible the success that some of my clients have had, I worked with an artist, and she had not sold any paintings had released some of her negative emotions around money, and the money mindset and the anger, the hurt the sadness related to that. And she was commissioned the next week for a painting. Wow. And it was just amazing.
Isadora Samadello 8:24
That is crazy. Because I think we don't talk enough about how your perspective kind of like mold, what's happening in your life. Like, I'm a big advocate for that, you know, like words are powerful. You know, what you think and what you say about yourself, it is going to happen, right? And so this is so cool to hear her story, because just because her mindset changed, then it already attracted things to her that she wasn't able to take before. That is so cool. Yeah. And then another situation that I had was a client that
Michele Coy 9:03
owned a business. Mm hmm. And she was in business with her husband. And they had constant communication issues. As soon as we completed the timeline therapy, he no longer felt that's, at least I observed, she was no longer controlling situations, letting them happen. And her communication with her husband opened up. And it was just beautiful to see that they could now openly communicate, which helped their marriage, which helped their business and help their relationships with themselves.
That's fantastic. And you kind of just touched on the next question I had, which is, you know, I think that when people hear the term money mindset or mindset about money, you think that it has to do only with money, but I'm sure that it affects everything else. Right, exactly.
Isadora Samadello 9:55
How does that go?
Michele Coy 9:56
So one of the biggest keys that I really Ask people is how do you accept? recognition? Do you say thank you? Or do you have a Yeah, but oops.
Isadora Samadello 10:17
Michele Coy 10:19
Because if you look at it, if you can accept recognition, then you can give it back out. However, I have noticed with some clients, if they cannot take a compliment, and accept it with gratitude, I'm noticing they also want to push their money out. They don't feel like they have the value or have money
Isadora Samadello 10:41
correlation in there.
Michele Coy 10:42
Yes. And so those are the people that may be struggling with money because they don't have they don't feel like they are valued enough. They shouldn't. They don't deserve to have money. So then you're buying material things, buying gifts for others, you know, just wasting your money. Rather than saving it. I had one client that she began that she would tell me that as soon as she got her paycheck, she felt like she had to spend it, whatever was left after her bills, right. And she actually experienced the bank fees in relationship to that. After working with me for a couple of months, she said, Michelle, I have not had any bank fees since working with you. But as I said, again, she used a spending tracker to observe what I'm spending, and the emotions associated when I went to go purchase something. And now she's going from someone who had that scarcity mindset, and wanting to get rid of the money to wanting to open a business and help others.
Isadora Samadello 12:07
That is so great. Wow.
Michele Coy 12:09
So it's simple things that when you can change your mindset, you can change, you know, the way you look at health. How you are eating? Because you can apply the same principles to what you're putting in your body.
Isadora Samadello 12:28
Interesting. So resources in general, not just money.
Michele Coy 12:31
Isadora Samadello 12:34
I get it. Wow. very intriguing. Now, this is just making my, my brain just go. Okay, wait, I'm trying to connect these things up here. That is awesome. Wow. And from the stories that you're telling us of your clients, like, does it depend on like a timeframe? Or do people kind of like, okay, by this step in the program, you know, this is how they behave? Usually you're, yeah, just curious.
Michele Coy 13:07
It varies, because each of us is at a different level of willingness to do the work. There are some people that will see immediate results and want to dig deeper, where others may take a little bit longer than the process to get the results that they want. And what my guarantee is, is, I know this is your goal, and I'm going to work with you until you achieve that goal. Because that I'm here to help. And I realize everybody does stuff at a different level, a different speed, right, we all process differently. And we all have had different traumas, or experiences through our life, in which will process that if it's a really deep seated trauma, we may have to go into additional work, to work through those traumas and help you recognize some of the things that are holding you back that you don't realize it could be as simple as my mom left me at the store because I was hiding the clothing rack.
Isadora Samadello 14:17
Mm hmm. You know, as a young child, you know, yeah, that Oh, very,
Michele Coy 14:23
it can be scary. There's, so we ended up uncovering other things as we're going through the journey. Mm hmm. So I have different programs. You know, the first one is we uncover the stories and if you're if you want to go further than we have, I have a longer program to work with you. So it just depends, you know, the level of willingness that a client wants to go through.
Isadora Samadello 14:51
Okay, and what does working with you look like?
Michele Coy 14:53
So working with me looks like I have a one on one program in which we Cover your money story, which is a six week program. And we set your goals. And then we go through what I call our dough process, which is discovering your relationship with money. We have to discover how you feel about money in that relationship. And then we discover your originating story. How did your story develop? Well, who was who was part of that story? And then we actually go through and start digging into yourself. What skills do you have? What talents Have you have? What did you hide from the world right now? Because somebody told you you couldn't do that? Is that something that could create a more empowering story? such as getting that raise at work? Opening your own business? valuing yourself more, because you realize you have more skills? And who thought? And then really looking at gratitude? are you thankful for paying bills?
Isadora Samadello 16:02
Wow, people do realize that.
Michele Coy 16:06
Yes, yes. People don't recognize what a bill provides. So they will they don't have that gratitude for that money that's going out. Wow. So we take a deep look in one of our sessions to really look at your electric bill, for example, what does it provide you? Or you can have more gratitude, if you look at it from the angle of what it's providing you rather than that money going out?
Isadora Samadello 16:32
Oh, I love that. That's so different. We need more people to think like that for sure.
Michele Coy 16:38
Yes. And then the last one is honesty. Are you being honest with yourself? Okay, are you happy where you are right now? Or is there something more that you want to pursue?
Isadora Samadello 16:50
Mm hmm. Wow. That's amazing. Michele, this has been fantastic. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and a little bit of how much honestly everything is connected. This is insane. For our listeners, if you're interested in you know, meeting Michelle getting to work with her. She is going to be in Book of experts calm so just search for Michelle coy. And yeah, like, this is so exciting to me specifically, I'm naturally curious about this topic. So it was so great talking to you. Thank you so much for your time.
Michele Coy 17:26
Thank you for allowing me to share with you and your audiences. It's
Isadora Samadello 17:29
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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